The Vagus Nerve

The Vagus Nerve- Feeling safer, calmer & better intimacy

Lisa McGarvaAnatomy, Anxiety, Biology, Counselling, Massage, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Neurodiversity, Psychotherapy, Sex and Relationship Therapy, Sex Therapist, Sexology, Sexual Response, stress, Trauma, Vagus Nerve, yoga, Yoga Therapy

The Vagus Nerve

The Vagus Nerve is responsible for the engagement of both the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems.

What is the Vagus Nerve?

The Vagus Nerve is the longest nerve of the autonomic nervous system in the human body and comprises both sensory and motor fibres. It starts at the back of the brain reaching all the way down to the pelvic floor and genitals.  It is responsible for the engagement of both the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems

It sends messages from the brain to the body, and messages from the body back to the brain.  This is an important function, as sometimes our bodies can feel stuck in a stress response when our mind is feeling calm.  This can be challenging at any time but particularly when we are wanting to be sexually intimate, connecting our thoughts, feelings and body.

Cortisol and adrenalin can be surging through our body when it isn’t needed making it feel that it is not safe and under attack when it isn’t.

Our brains can think that there is a threat telling our bodies to be ready to respond.  Our bodies can be in a state of fright, freeze, flight or faun even when there actually is no threat.  The sympathetic nervous system is being engaged at this point.

These responses can show up when we are wanting to engage in sex (partnered or solo) making it difficult to connect without our bodies and with pleasure.  It can get in the way of connecting intimately with partners too.  It can be harder to get aroused, stay aroused, with getting and keeping erections and also to orgasm.

It’s about getting the right balance.  We need to have the right amount of engagement of both the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) and parasympathetic nervous systems (PNS) to access pleasure rather than being stuck in the fright, freeze, flight or faun responses.

In order for the body to be relaxed to access pleasure with ourselves and perhaps with a partner/s the parasympathetic nervous system needs to switch on.  If we have sexual intimacy and the parasympathetic nervous system isn’t engaged it stifles our ability to enjoy touch, share intimacy, feel connected, get and maintain erections and orgasm.  When you feel relaxed, calm, safe and in control of your body you will know that your parasympathetic nervous system being engaged.

 

The Vagus Nerve and its importance during intimacy.

Intimacy is recognised as being intimate with yourself and/or if you choose to be intimate with other/s. Intimacy may or may not be sexual, this is your choice.

During sexual intimacy with yourself or with a partner/s, ideally we want to be in a sexually aroused state where we can have good mindful presence of what is happening, raised heart rate, deeper breaths and good blood flow (SNS engagement) while feeling relaxed, calm and safe in our bodies to release the right hormones such as oxytocin (PNS engagement) in accessing pleasure and for good sex.

Normally the body can switch between the SNS and PNS quite easily.  However for many people during sexual intimacy it is harder for their body to engage the PNS due to many things such as feeling sexual shame related to sex from things such as religion, cultural expectations, family,  low body confidence, lack of sex education, sexual orientation, gender identity, sexual interests, and trauma.

How to feel safer, feel calmer, and have better intimacy.

Hooray for the Vagus Nerve!

Our vagus nerve is the key to activating the PNS, and being that the Vagus Nerve can send messages from the body back to the brain, we can induce a calm state through various physical experiences (body to the brain), not just by thinking calm thoughts (brain to the body).  There are many ways which this can be done.  It is very important to practice techniques often and over time you will change the neural pathways in your brain so PNS engagement becomes easier to do.   PNS engagement can be done either on your own or with a partner.  I shall outline a few options that you can practice regularly.

How to engage the Vagus nerve (solo) for activating the parasympathetic nervous system.

I have a YouTube channel @thinkingfeelingmoving which has a large library of many free videos I have created which you can access for at any time. They are designed to engage your parasympathetic nervous system.  Ideally to retrain your brain and body, a daily practice is recommended.  I particularly wish to draw your attention to:

  • Self-regulation and co-regulation through yoga.
  • Restorative Yoga
  • Yoga Nidra Mediations
  • Yoga Meditation- Awakening Pleasure, a Guided Meditation

Self-regulation and co-regulation through yoga

This is a short practice  to demonstrate both solo and partnered practices. Yoga either practiced solo or in partner Yoga stimulates the Vagus nerve activating the Parasympathetic Nervous System response. This helps you to feel calm, safe in your body, less anxious and less reactive to stressors. Partner Yoga builds trust, open communication, intimacy, and feelings of being supported.

Click here to view in YouTube.

 

Restorative Yoga practice

Restorative Yoga for post traumatic growth.

Restorative Yoga for post traumatic growth.

Healing happens in its own time. This is a process which cannot be rushed. Stress and trauma are stored in the body. The body remembers these and can hold on to it unless it is supported to be able to release. The accumulation of stress and trauma leads to dis- ease in the body. Over time this dis- ease if it is not dealt with leads to disease. Through the practice of Restorative Yoga, we will stimulate the  Parasympathetic nervous system which evokes a relaxation response. This will lessen inflammation in the body, and inflamed emotions. You will be toning the vagus nerve restoring homeostasis, supporting resilience, and aiding recovery from stress and trauma. Through this practice, you will learn of what the experience is like to feel safe in your own body.

Click here to view in YouTube.

 

 

 

Click here to view the video on my YouTube channel.

How to engage the Vagus nerve (solo and partnered) for activating the parasympathetic nervous system.

It’s a good idea to practice any of the following by yourself first to get comfortable doing them.  When you feel that you have mastered them, you might like to teach them to your partner/s as a means to practice together increasing intimacy if you are feeling comfortable to do so and feel it is appropriate.

1.Begin by noticing your breath, feel the air move in and out of the nostrils.  Observe the feeling of the rise and fall of the chest and belly.  Listen to your breathing.  Smooth out each breath.  Begin to tune in to the feeling of your heart beating in your chest, perhaps place your hand over your heart to feel its beating.

 “Learning how to breathe calmly and remaining in a state of relative physical relaxation, even while accessing painful and horrifying memories, is an essential tool for recovery.  When you deliberately take a few slow, deep breaths, you will notice the effects of the parasympathetic break on our arousal.  The more you stay focused on your breathing, the more you will benefit, particularly if you pay attention until the very end of the out breath and then wait a moment before you inhale again.  As you continue to breathe and notice the air moving in and out of your lungs you may think about the role that oxygen plays in nourishing your body and bathing your tissues with the energy you need to feel alive and engaged.” – Bessel van der Kolk The Body Keeps the Score pp.207
2. Notice the muscles around your eyes and eyebrows.  Soften them.  Blink the eyes, soften your gaze.   If you are with a partner/s and it feels ok, gazing into each other’s eyes is a way to engage the Vagus nerve and PNS. Eye gazing can be done sitting across from each other, or both of you facing each other lying down perhaps with your heads on a pillow.

 

Eye gazing is a simple yet powerful way to co-regulate.

 “Focused attunement with another person can shift us out of disorganized and fearful states” – Bessel van der Kolk The Body Keeps the Score pp.78

3. Hum or sigh with engagement of your voice with long exhalations repeatedly.

4. Slow massage of the whole body, particularly in the areas of the vagus nerve such as gently stroking your chest/breasts, engage in nipple play, waist, pelvis and genitals.  Experiment with the type of touch that is preferred (texture, temperature and pressure) that feels good.

5. Yawn with the mouth wide open and repeat.  Yawn with your partner/s.

6. Use your peripheral vision to be aware of your surroundings reminding yourself that you are safe. Learning to make friends with a wide range of emotions. You may experience discomfort with some emotions.  Remind your body that you are safe.  Check your surroundings with your peripheral vision.  Blink often. Breathe. Come back to the body.

 

”This being human is a guest house.  Every morning is a new arrival.  A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as a an unexpected visitor…  Welcome and entertain them all.  Treat each guest honourably.  The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.  Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”- Rumi

 

Regular meditation stimulates the Vagus Nerve engaging the parasympathetic nervous system response.